This might sound harsh, but if you don’t value your time, you don’t value yourself.
If you use up all your time doing things for others and don’t save anything for you, you’re not doing right by yourself. You’re not valuing yourself in that you don’t make yourself a priority, and you don’t value your time in that you don’t set boundaries.
To prove to yourself and others that you and your time are valuable, you have you start setting boundaries. You also have to be prepared to enforce and defend those boundaries, because the people that you’ve spoiled by using all you’re time on them, will object. I urge you to start setting boundaries today. Start small, and it will give you the courage and energy you need to continue. If you need support, I’m here. Just book an appointment in my calendar.
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It took me a long time to come to this realization. I never said, “No”. I always did for everyone else. I finally realized I had to put myself first. To take care of me, so I could give my best to others. 🙂 Great post!
I’m glad you’ve reached that point. It makes a world of difference 🙂
So true, Linda! We get pulled in so many directions and I’ve been guilty of saying “yes” too often. It isn’t always easy to get myself me time but I need it and know I’m a better Mom and wife because of it.
Yes. Getting it isn’t easy, you have to take it.
Amen! I got this advice a few years ago and I stick to it. I always try to make time for me, even if its to do absolutely nothing. Time for yourself is so important! Not harsh at all!
It is important 🙂 I’m glad you stick to it
Excellent tip! This is something that comes easy for me since we do not have children and do not live in the same city as our family. But I easily understand how it can be difficult for parents that are constantly being asked to do things with and for their kids or to do things for other family members. It can quickly become overwhelming and learning to set boundaries is key
Great tip, Linda – to be honest, it’s ironic to say so while I’m leaving a comment on your blog, but blog commenting is something I feel I need to cut back on – it sometimes eats up far too much of my time!
🙂 It does eat time. Maybe choose the ones you like the best, and stick to those.
I can honestly admit that I need to work on this. I am a giver and give to much of self. I get upset that I give too much, but then struggle to rein it in. I am getting better and I’m trying to prioritize my time better. To make sure the things that I care the most about – get taken care of instead of sidelined. Thanks for the reminder!
Start setting small boundaries, then they’ll be easier to keep up. After you get into the habit, you can expand.
I fully agree Linda. But it’s difficult. It’s so easy to get carried away buy other peoples things that I forget my own. But on the other hand I enjoy what I do for others.
Today I will start to value my own time more – thanks.
Yes, it is. I’m glad you’re taking the steps. You don’t have to stop doing things for others, just don’t do too much.
Setting Healthy boundaries is so important, and this was something that I did not learn to do until I was well into adulthood. I really try to instill this concept into my daughters, as it breeds self confidence and self respect!
I try to teach this to my daughter as well 🙂
I’m a people pleaser so it’s hard for me to say no. I want to make sure everybody is happy and for some unhealthy reason that makes me happy :).
I hate saying no, I feel like I’m their last resort and who else may have said no…so there I go to help out but I’m working on that. Like Donna says, we have to take care of us too so we can be good for others…
Great post Linda! Hope you’re having a great weekend!
Even people pleasers reach a point when they have no other choice but to say no, to take care of themselves.
I’ll definitely try and say no more this year. I have got to get my work-life balance.
Thanks for sharing Linda! Happy New Year!
Reach out if you need some support. Happy New Year 🙂
I couldn’t agree with you more, Linda. It took me a very long time to realize that it is okay to set boundaries. It is actually liberating when we give ourselves the permission to say no., Thank you for sharing this!
Yes it is 🙂 Thanks
So true, when you set boundaries others will object. I seem to only set boundaries when I have had enough and need me time. But they seem to drift back so it is a tug of war.
The secret is to start by settig boundaries you can keep, and then expand later.
I think it’s taken me until just recently to truly value myself, and to set boundaries. Still learning the “set boundaries” and to sometimes “just say no” but I’m getting there!
I’m glad to hear it 🙂 Keep it up
Just taught a workshop last night on setting boundaries – and identifying which specific situations we tend to “relax” our boundaries. Knowing when you might “relax” or “ignore” a boundary is pretty eye-opening – and the first step needed to really stand in your power and hold firm! Great post, Linda.
Yes it is, thanks 🙂 I’m teaching entrepreneurs how to fix their overwhelm in a couple of weeks. I have to remember to bring up boundaries.
How right you are Linda! Sometimes people get so caught up in pleasing others, they totally forget about themselves. However, one must remember, there are just some people you can please and your efforts are useless. Make time each day to think about YOU and you’ll be a much happier and healthier person imo.
Great post and sorry so late getting to it! I’m so behind! 😉
Thanks 🙂 You’re so right Bren
This is not harsh at all Linda, as it is the absolute truth. I am sometimes guilty of this and working on it.
It is very empowering when you see how free you feel once you start doing it on a regular basis 😉
Thanks Delia 🙂 I think we all are, at one time or another. Yes it is.
I completely agree that we need to value our time to be able to value ourselves. Making sure that we allot enough time for ourselves, our work and others is important to live a balanced and healthy life.
Yes it is 🙂
Very true! I used to coach small business owners and it was something almost everyone struggled with. It is finding that balance where you can give and be helpful but not give all of yourself away.
Yes. You have to keep some to yourself
Happy New Year!
I’ve learned to not feel guilty about saying NO not so long ago. It’s in our nature (at times) to be helpful and there when everyone needs us. But being there for “me” first is just as important. Just like in the those emergency airplane instructions….apply oxygen mask to yourself first then others.
Thanks for sharing,
Happy New Year Nicole 🙂 Yes it is
I think this is so true. If you don’t make time for yourself, and you’re spending it doing things for everyone else, you’ll 1. Burn out and 2. start to hate doing things for others. There has to be a balance and you need to be a priority!
Yes 🙂 I did both, for some people at least.