Today, I read a blog post on True Image Coaching’s blog called “Stand up to your inner bully”, and I couldn’t agree more; Negative self-talk is cruel and ineffective. Putting yourself down doesn’t work, it undermines your confidence and makes you see yourself as less than the wonderful person you are. There are enough bullies in the world, don’t be your own. This negative self-talk is probably most common when we’re trying to lose weight. Nichole Kellerman calls this voice your inner Helga. The one who tries to convince you that you can’t do it. But it’s common enough in other areas as well to be a problem.
Why should we think about ourselves in negative terms? There’s really no point in that. Putting yourself down only makes you feel worse about yourself, and makes those around you miserable as well as you. So that’s why I say Stop it! Start turning things around. When you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself, try changing it to something positive. It’ll become a habit sooner than you think, and will make you feel a lot better about yourself and your life. It will also make everyone happier and help you reach your goals more easily.
What are some negative things you’ve thought or said about yourself?
Write them in a comment, and let that be the last time you ever use them.
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You are right. I went shopping for clothes and my inner Helga was at her best. However, I realized it and shut her up. Got to give her some meditation to keep her mouth quiet.
Good job shutting her up!
Haha. I never do this. I always think I can do everything despite the fact that I can’t. One misguided step proves me wrong and I reach for my walking stick. Tomorrow, I’ll be back to normal–I wish.
I’m more that way myself too. I can do anything, take the consequences later (like today) 😀
Recently, someone told me that usually when you use the word “but” whatever comes after is a limiting belief. “I’d love to leave comments on 5 blogs today, but I just don’t have enough time.” The limiting belief would be around the abundance of time. Having the concrete word “but” to focus on has really helped me to identify 1) the negative talk and 2) figure out the limiting belief.
Love, love, love your post!
Really good advice, and very true. We should all kick but’s behind 🙂
I battled negative self-talk and depression throughout my teens and early 20s. I also suffered from an eating disorder (bulimia). I’ve found that a lot of negativity like this comes from what we are conditioned to believe as youngsters. With me, it was several teachers who would humiliate me in front of the whole class because of problems with mathematics and stuttering. Yes, TEACHERS, adults, mocked me in front of other children. It was very damaging.
After more than 20 years I have finally kicked most of it, surrounding myself with positive people and motivational pep talks. And 20 minutes meditation every morning. It was one of those things that I woke up one morning and said, “I’ve had enough negativity. I need to do something about it.” So I did. And I am a lot better for it, mentally and psychically.
Sorry to hear ou had to go through that. I was bullied for 11 years, but I refused to believe them. There are way too many teachers that should never have been teachers. I’m glad you got out the other end.
I am ok (sort of) when it comes to body issues (I have spent my entire life being too thin). My most toxic self-talk (directly from my family) involves success, money, and my ability to work my chosen profession. “You are not a successful writer until you make fifty thousand a year as a writer.” “The only real writing is the literary kind.” “Why would anyone listen to you? You are not an expert on the subject.” And yes, it is interesting working around this negative self-talk–I am not sure how I do it, but I do get some writing done on a regular basis.
You’re moving forward, so you’ll get there. Most of my negativity comes from my husband. I’ve stopped talking myself down.