I don’t know what it is, but there’s definitely something weird going on. Maybe it’s the season. It’s getting really dark, and cold. Winter is well on its way. I know one of my fylgja is a bear, but this is ridiculous. I’m not in the habit of going into winter hibernation.

I feel like snacking all day long. For several weeks now I’ve been trying not to snack too much and failing miserably. I’ve been eating candy, snacks, nuts, dried fruit. Just about anything within reach. And even though nuts and fruit are good for you, a lot better than candy and snacks, that is only true in moderation. Too many calories are too many calories, regardless of the source. I can count the days without refined sugars on one hand. It’s very hard to keep from snacking like willpower has taken a vacation. I still have over 12 lbs to loose. I really can’t afford this kind of setback.

My mood has been pretty low as well, for the last week or so. I’ve been completely exhausted, to the point of crying over nothing. But I think that might be because of the cold, and lack of sleep. I’ve been thinking of ways to fix this snacking thing, and I keep coming up empty. I can’t get more sleep than I’m getting because I have to work for a living. It’s impossible for me to go to bed before 9:30 PM. I’ve tried, and it won’t work.

In addition to not getting to sleep, nothing gets done if I go to bed that early. No one cleans the house or puts out clothes and food for the next day. No one does laundry, takes out the trash, etc. It’s like I said before: I need a maid! And the way things are financially I need a FREE maid! I’ve taken the step to join FlyLady. To see if I’m able to create a routine that works. And continues to work, even on my worst days. On my worst days, I can’t do any housework at all. Which then forces me to play catch-up on the other days. Especially when people are coming to visit. This time, I had to play catch-up while dizzy, cold and exhausted. Because Lilith’s 4th birthday was yesterday, and her grandparents came over. They stayed from Saturday to Sunday, and even though we have a good relationship, and I have no problem having them as guests, it’s hard sometimes. I spent Thursday and Friday at home, because of the cold, but I didn’t get much rest at all. Anyway, I prefer the animal companion version.

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