Today, I’m letting you in on one of my big truths:

You shouldn’t sacrifice who you are for other people.

It’s good to be caring and considerate, but it’s possible to take it too far. I really believe that a lot of people, especially younger women, do this.  You sacrifice hobbies, interests, and passions. You change the way you dress, the way you speak, the way you act.

You do this because of one or more of these reasons

  • You’re trying to manage daily life and feel you don’t have enough time to spend some on yourself
  • You think it’s selfish to set aside time for yourself
  • Other people (family, spouse, people at school or work) have voice opinions about your interests or personality
  • You think people won’t accept you for who you are
  • You’re trying to fit in

I’ve seen too many women do this. In truth, I’ve also done it myself. I gave up opinions, behaviors, and style because of my husband’s words. I gave up hobbies and passions because work sapped me of my energy, and I thought I should prioritize that. I edited my language and my reactions at work because you shouldn’t talk back to nasty clients. I kept working for too long because that was what you were “supposed to do“.

I’ve always been a strong person, or so I thought. So none of this was enjoyable. It isn’t fun to have to limit yourself or force yourself into a box that’s too small. After I had my daughter, I started breaking free of other people’s opinions again. I wanted to get my old self back, no matter what it took. I want to be a good role model for her, so she doesn’t have to end up in the same trap. I had spent nearly 20 years in that box, and it was way too small. There’s still one step to take care of, but I hope to have that finished by the end of the year.

I see a lot of women come out of this, coming back to themselves in their late 30’s to early 50’s, and I don’t want it to take that long. I want you to get out of it sooner, and get back to who you are earlier, so you can enjoy life longer.

One of my missions in life is to help you out of this

Is the box too small? Get out of it!

14 Comments

  1. Reba Linker

    awesome post, Linda. A great message for us all, and I love that you especially encourage younger women not to wait so long to discover their power and “get out of the box!” xox, Reba

    Reply
  2. Michelle White Hart

    I feel your passion around this very strongly, LInda and it feels great!! Thank you for taking a stand for women to fully be and express themselves and to stand fully in their uniqueness and power and truth!!

    Reply
  3. Marquita Herald

    Very important message Linda. I completely lost myself during my marriage. My ex had a strong personality and later in our marriage became verbally abusive so by the time I finally mustered the strength to end it all it took me nearly 2 years to figure out who the heck I really was! Many people view self care as having to do with the ego, but it’s really about survival and learning to appreciate your beautiful self.

    Reply
    • Linda Ursin

      Thanks Marquita. I recognize getting lost in a verbally negative marriage. I’m glad you had the courage to get out. I’m doing that too. It is about survival, and being able to live the life you want.

      Reply
  4. Sue Kearney (@MagnoliasWest)

    Linda, what a powerful post. I have been in that situation so many times, especially in love relationships. She’d say “I don’t like those shoes.” And I found I couldn’t wear them again.

    Thanks for helping me see how this applies in other (all?) areas of life and business. I’m gonna share this with my peeps.

    Gratefully,
    Sue

    Reply
    • Linda Ursin

      Thanks Sue 🙂 I’ve only been in one that was like that, but for a long time

      Reply
  5. Suzie Cheel

    Great message Linda, one that i know is so important if we are going to share our message with the world , thank you

    Reply
  6. Diane Howell Topkis

    Great message Linda. Been there, done that. Especially int he way to dress. It never worked, never felt right. Now I’m just me – take it or leave it!

    Reply
    • Linda Ursin

      Thanks Diane 🙂 I’m glad you’ve arrived at that decision

      Reply
  7. Johanna

    Love this!! Thank you!

    Reply

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