Here are some examples of something to replace the regular (Christianity-inspired) expressions for those of us who are Heathen or have other reasons not to want to use them. These have been translated from Norwegian, Swedish, and Icelandic, so some sound more infantile than the original.
Some are already in use since they’re not related to religion, they can be kept. I know most are far from politically correct, but when were swear words and insults ever politically correct?
I do not mean this as an insult to anyone. As stated in the title: If you can’t take it, stay away.
By the golden hairs on Balder’s balls!
By the rotting breath of Fenrir!
By the puss-filled eyehole of Odin!
By Thor’s ass hair!
By Fafnir’s scaley balls! (Submitted by Axel)
Jerk at the salted balls of Ægir!
Go into your own asshole!
Shit yourself away!
Jump up your own ass!
Fuck your mother!
Pick your nose with a blowtorch! (Submitted by Marcel Gomes)
Son of a Whore
Pyre Wolf (arsonist)
Agnabak (Chose not to translate this, it’s effective anyway. It means grain thief)
Glow Hawk (Bully)
Spike Pot (Pointed belly = Impostor)
Cheater Sack (Slut)
Cud Thief (Thief of butchered animals)
Your Mother is a Cow
Are you a complete half wit?
Your mother gave birth to you with her ass because her pussy was busy.
You have a small penis
Sissy Dick Puller
Trukkalessa (Female Truck Driver)
Kanamella (Yankee Whore)
Well pisser, translated from bronnpissar, a time honoured insult from Rogaland (Submitted by Robert J. Kvalvåg)
Cock sucking, mother fucking, two balled bitch! (Submitted by Axel)
Fucktard (a friend uses this regularly about her ex husband)
Emergency profanity (Bang your thumb with the hammer words)
Surt (might be too powerful for some)
Black (in the meaning Black Helheim instead of ‘Svarte Faen’, which means ‘Black Devil’)
Ty (or Týr, to replace ‘God’)
Replacements for expletives like fucking, damn, sodding etc. Thanks to Runar.
Jotniballs (really hard to translate well) …
A lovely example from my friend Runar: “Ved Tryms råtne skjegg, klapp igjen grautkjæften og plasser trollræva di på krakken”.
This translates to “By the rotten beard of Thrym, shut your porridge yap and sit your troll’s ass on the stool”.
Lorrie gave me this: “Shit or explode!”
If you have any more examples, let me have them 🙂
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