Here are some examples of something to replace the regular (Christianity-inspired) expressions for those of us who are Heathen or have other reasons not to want to use them. These have been translated from Norwegian, Swedish, and Icelandic, so some sound more infantile than the original.

Some are already in use since they’re not related to religion, they can be kept. I know most are far from politically correct, but when were swear words and insults ever politically correct?

I do not mean this as an insult to anyone. As stated in the title: If you can’t take it, stay away.

By…

By the golden hairs on Balder’s balls!
By the rotting breath of Fenrir!
By the puss-filled eyehole of Odin!
By Thor’s ass hair!
By Fafnir’s scaley balls! (Submitted by Axel)

Suggestions

Jerk at the salted balls of Ægir!
Fuck me!
Fuck you!
Go into your own asshole!
Shit yourself away!
Jump up your own ass!
Fuck yourself!
Fuck your mother!
Eat shit!
Pick your nose with a blowtorch! (Submitted by Marcel Gomes)

Insults

Jotni
Troll
Troll’s Ass
Son of a Whore
Thrall
Slave
Liar
Thief
Pyre Wolf (arsonist)
Murderer
Agnabak (Chose not to translate this, it’s effective anyway. It means grain thief)
Conjurer
Hussy
Moll Gorger
Glow Hawk (Bully)
Trash
Spike Pot (Pointed belly = Impostor)
Yokel Clod
Nutcase
Tosspot (drunkard)
Panderer
Pant Farter
Flibbertigibbet
Gossiper
Blabbermouth
Tattler
Slime Bag
Bilker (Impostor)
Cheater Sack (Slut)
Cud Thief (Thief of butchered animals)
Hooker Rag
Dog Shame
Sack Mutilator
Wide Mouth
Executioner’s Hand
Raven Food
Prostitute
Tramp
Slanderer
Your Mother is a Cow
Whore Crack
Whore
Flounder (Flatfish)
Splash (Slut)
Damn Fool
Stupid
Stupid Cow
Idiot
Moron
Are you a complete half wit?
Mother Fucker
Shitty Cunt
Pussy Licker
Your mother gave birth to you with her ass because her pussy was busy.
Dick
Cock
Penis
You have a small penis
Slutty Whore
Faeces
Shit Bag
Dirt Bag
Shit Sock
Ass Rider
Corpse Fucker
Whore Fucker
Sheep Fucker
Dog Lover
Sissy Dick Puller
Trukkalessa (Female Truck Driver)
Kanamella (Yankee Whore)
Loser
Lowlife
Well pisser, translated from bronnpissar, a time honoured insult from Rogaland (Submitted by Robert J. Kvalvåg)
Cock sucking, mother fucking, two balled bitch! (Submitted by Axel)
Fucktard (a friend uses this regularly about her ex husband)

Emergency profanity (Bang your thumb with the hammer words)

Surt (might be too powerful for some)
Loki
Ass
Idiot
Cock
Pussy
Dick
Cunt
Shit
Fart
Fret
Black (in the meaning Black Helheim instead of ‘Svarte Faen’, which means ‘Black Devil’)
Ty (or Týr, to replace ‘God’)

Other expletives

Replacements for expletives like fucking, damn, sodding etc. Thanks to Runar.

Wights …
Ragnaroks …
Jotniballs (really hard to translate well) …
Hels …
Helheimrs …
Niflhemrs …